What is a submissive?

A submissive is an individual who is willing to give up control to another individual, usually referred to as the dominant. The terms submissive and dominant are often used within the BDSM (bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism) community. While many people have an innate understanding of what a submissive is, there are many nuances and complexities to understand when it comes to this type of consent-based relationship.

In essence, a submissive is someone who is obedient and willing to honor the wishes of the dominant partner. However, submission always requires consent and should never be forced or coerced. The submissive should also be comfortable with the terms of the relationship as should the dominant. This relationship can either be long-term or short-term, depending on the mutual preferences of those involved.

There are multiple types of submission, ranging from physical submission to mental submission. Physical submission involves activities like role playing and BDSM activities. While this can involve handcuffs and spanking to an extent, it doesn’t always have to. Physical submission can also include things like basic kissing, cuddling and massage. On the other hand, mental submission is more about total obedience and surrendering to another person’s mental authority.

The most important thing to remember about a submissive is that submission is consensual and requires absolute trust and respect between both parties. While a submissive might appear to be weaker or inferior to the dominant, it is important to recognize that not only is this not the case, but it is also very dangerous for either party to assume such dynamics.

Submission is not about servitude; rather it is about love and mutual pleasure. Without mutual respect and understanding, the relationship between a dominant and a submissive can quickly become unhealthy and dangerous. Before engaging in a relationship as either a dominant or a submissive, it is essential to make sure you and your partner understand both of your expectations and limitations. Doing this can help make sure that the relationship is safe, healthy, and consensual. Find Out More

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. In modern society, BDSM is commonly known as “kink.” It is a widely used term for activities or practices that involve the physical and/or mental infliction or sensation of pleasure. BDSM can range from light spanking to intense S&M scenes and everything in between.

At its core, BDSM is an exchange of power and control between two or more people. The people involved are generally referred to as a “Dominant” and a “submissive”, though the exact dynamics and roles can vary significantly depending on the people involved. The Dominant partner is typically in control of the situation, while the submissive partner surrenders control to some degree.

For most participants, BDSM is an enjoyable lifestyle or an expression of their sexuality. It is consensual and usually practiced within the safe, confidential confines of an agreed-upon “scene,” during which all participants agree to abide by established guidelines, rules and expectations. During “play,” a Dominant partner may take on the role of teacher, or instructor, and the submissive partner may take on a role that yields to the Dominant. This helps to create trust, respect and understanding between the two individuals.

BDSM activities involve a variety of activities. Bondage refers to the physical restraint of one or more people, either through rope, handcuffs, medical restraints or other devices. Master and Slave scenarios involve the submissive offering themselves to the Dominant for service, or finding deliverance in surrendering their agency to the Dominant. Discipline can involve spanking, paddling and other forms of physical punishment for the purpose of pleasure, training or punishment. Dominance and submission involve one partner acting as the Dominant and the other acting as a submissive to some capacity, be it in the bedroom, the domestic sphere or elsewhere. Sadism and masochism involve activities involving sensation and/or infliction of pain.

Safety and trust is essential for all BDSM activities, no matter how light or intense. All participants should understand the risks and be prepared to discuss boundaries, along with potential safer sex practices, ahead of time. Communication, trust and respect are essential in any BDSM relationship, including the use of safer sex strategies. As with any activity in which power is exchanged between two (or more) people, it’s important to take the time to learn more about proper and safer BDSM practice.

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